Christmas Commercialization

Walking by Starbucks, I noticed a bright red window decal shaped like a gigantic Christmas tree ornament with the words "I wish grownups could remember being kids". Because I'm such a cynical jerk, I automatically assumed that this seemingly harmless set up was in fact a mega-corporate marketing ploy intended to resonate some deep fuzzy feeling associated with childhood and the holidays in the hearts of each random passerby, consequently causing them to translate the message to "Be a kid again -- drink coffee!" in an unconscious manner, and ultimately compelling them to step inside and buy a darn cup of overpriced coffee with such a deluded expectation.

But, you know, that's just me being cynical.

Discipline

"I don't like school."

"You seem like someone who would, though. I mean, you like learning and stuff."

"Yea, I don't know. I guess I don't like the deadlines..."

"Oh, so you just don't like discipline."

Oof.

Wink

Have you ever felt something like a wink from God? You just know that God's got something in mind for you, but you have no idea what that something is. And as much as you plead with God to give you an explanation, or at least to give you a hint, all He does is smile, amused at your impatience, and perhaps wink again.

The Coolest Thing about College

is being able to dive head first into new friendships. At no other time in life does it ever seem as appropriate to befriend someone quickly and haphazardly, without a second thought about developing trust or intimacy according to some arbitrary timeline.

This hit me just now when I was chatting with a new friend that I had only met at the beginning of the semester. It started when I asked him what he thought about church this morning, and he said he couldn't remember. I then proceeded to ramble on about the importance of learning and applying what you've learned to real life, and just when I was beginning to fear that perhaps I was lecturing him, he interrupted me by saying, "Hey, Alice, can you stay here for another year? Maybe two? So we can have more conversations like this?" This coming from someone, I've realized, that I barely even know. I have trouble remembering if he's a sophomore or a junior, I'm not even sure of his hometown, I know nothing about his family. And yet, I do know him really well. And yet, we're friends. You could say that that's odd, but I think that it's awesome.

AGH

I don't understand the hype surrounding Ginger's Deli on campus. Their sandwiches are overpriced, wimpy, and uncreative, and their use of Papyrus on their menus is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE.

Yea, totally guilty of lashing out on a poor bystander. Sorry.

I don't want to be here right now. I don't want to be indoors at all. I am NOT athletic whatsoever, but I have the urge to just RUN. Run and get away from the annoying music that's playing on the radio. Run and get away from this stifling office, this stifling environment, this stifling circumstance. Run and get away from the thoughts in my head. I don't want to be in this place. I don't want to be in this time.

God, I just want to run to YOU. I want to collapse into your arms. I want to fall at your feet. I want the sunlight getting tangled in my hair, I want the sweet scent of grass filling the air, I want to feel your presence everywhere. I want everything to be glowing. I want to love you and to be in love with you.

Why do I feel so stressed? So frustrated? So lost? I want to be LIBERATED. I AM liberated! I am free! So why am I just sitting here? Why aren't I RUNNING?

WHY DO I KEEP TYPING IN CAPS?

Rejoicing in the Presence of the Angels

Twice. I can only remember specifically calling my dad only twice while in college. The first time was to seek reconciliation -- let's just say that my dad and I were not always on the best of terms. The second time was to provide comfort. That second time was today, just a few hours ago.

He told me about my grandfather. He told me about the open-casket funeral, which is unusual in Chinese culture. He told me how his father's face was so peaceful - beautiful - more beautiful at rest than during his last few days alive. And all the while, holding the phone to my ear with one hand, I was clutching my gut with the other. I was silent, I was wrenched on the inside.

And then he said, "Did you know... he believed?" I held my breath, and then my dad told me everything -- how he tried to share his faith, but my grandfather refused to listen; how he would read passages from Matthew and John until my grandfather didn't want him to stop; how he asked my grandfather if he believed, and - just before passing away - he wrote down, "I believe".

More beautiful than while he was alive. I believe it.

Prayer is powerful. God is merciful. REJOICE!

Please

only say "I'm sorry" when you honestly think you may have offended me. By the way, I don't get easily offended, and I certainly don't get offended by virtually negligible "inconveniences". If you're at my apartment and you're thirsty, don't say "I'm sorry" when asking for a glass of water. Don't say "I'm sorry" when I find that I need to refill the pitcher. "Um, sorry for what?" "For making you do more work!" What the heck? Since when was turning on a faucet strenuously troublesome labor? By saying "I'm sorry" to such trivial matters, you're only making me feel bad that you should feel bad for nothing.

Please only say "to each his own" when you honestly think that the issue at hand is absolutely relative -- in which case, I'm not sure when you should ever use that phrase. I've never heard anyone say "to each his own" to quell a discussion on music tastes or movies; it seems to come up only when people disagree about something that most likely has just one answer, something that is potentially offensive, something that has a truth value. Is saying "to each his own" the right attitude to have when it comes to searching for truth?

People who are overly polite offend me. Oh, irony.